Alter Ego

I was at work today and I was reading an old tabloid which I happen to pick up from the magazine stand when a group of twenty somethings, came by to my bar. I was giving out the menus when I realized one of them was actually my old secondary school pal. Both of us actually despised each other in secondary school because he was an aloof smart ass who had an ego bigger than his asshole where I was the fat geek kid in school who always wished to punch the shit out of him those days.

Apparently my wish didn't happen and we separated ways. Seeing him today was kind of weird but he is the one who actually made the first move in chatting with me. "How are you?" were his first words. I told him I was doing good and while talking to him, I realized he has changed, for the better. I guess everyone changes and those attitudes in secondary school were all delusional. Thinking about it, it actually puts a smile to my face. There was one thing that never moved or ran away from him. It's his charm. I guess that's his forte. During the days, he use to tease girls mercilessly but rather obnoxiously. The irony part is these girls always come back to him like bees to honey even initially they feel insulted for a moment . How is he able to lure them? That's a good question and it took me years in figuring it out. Some people have it inborn with them while others like me have to go through the tougher way but I was adamant in knowing it and I did figure it out. That's when Syler came in my life. For those of you wondering who Syler is when you read your blogs or what's up with Syler? Well, Syler is actually my alter-ego. My other side, my dark side. Dark side sounds scary, it should be actually enigmatic side.

I was far from being attractive. My body was storing too much fats which would make any sumo-wrestler happy. I reckon I was around 78kg at 19. Though I am not bald, to say my hair is thinning would be an understatement. The front part of hair on my scalp was totally gone. I wear glasses which are so big that if it was worn in the 1970s, it would have been fashion statement. I have big eyes and long eyelashes which I believe adds character to my nerdy, dorky self but due to the big glasses, I've never been complimented on them. I am shorter than I would like to be and I love to eat. When I look down at my fat, horizontally challenged body, I wonder why any women would want to sleep next to it, let alone embrace it. So for me, meeting girls take a hell of a work. I am not the type of guy girls giggle when I walk past. All I have is my mind, and nobody can see that. You may have seen I have not mentioned my personality because it has completely changed or to put it accurately I have changed it drastically. It was never my intention to change my personality, in fact I was happy with myself and life. This is until an innocent secondary school life (it always starts in the schooling life) which brought me to the oddest and very excited morphing of my new self. I am still learning by the way and that's all I'm saying. I have two regrets in my secondary school days. One is I didn't put enough effort in my education which made me enlisted to the national service at 19 and the next is never being in a single relationship nor a single date. I try to avoid hurting others and I hardly even had a single female friend. The moment I befriend some girl, I try to be 'nice' to her. Just being all polite and not even one cheeky remark to her. For me, this was like respecting the girl. I was brought up that way. My mum always tell me to respect women which is true but in what way? She never told me what makes a women get attracted to a guy, no parents will because this was like giving grenades to the kids. All the time, I gave respect to the women, I always end up getting burned. "You are a nice guy, but I think we should remain as friends.." which was what most girls have told me continuously. I have heard the phrase a zillion times and each time it makes me lose my esteem even further and I envied those guys having countless dates. So I came up with the conclusion, "I was born to be ignored" and some guys have it with girls and some guys just don't. I was always under the delusion guys need to have looks, height, body and etc to get a beautiful girl since 2003. (but it never was)

What made me change my decision was after watching 'Hitch' a hilarious romantic comedy acted by Will Smith. The movie may be full of humour but if you watch carefully what the movie is trying to comprehend is how a guy is able to a girl of his dreams. Girl of his dreams seems too cliche, let's just say how to get girl he wanna and the steps he gotta do to get the girl. It is just a movie and of course movies exaggerate is what you people will think. Yea, certain part they may but not all. The movie triggered my reaction in going to find out more. I read magazines, search the internet and listen to experienced friends who were in relationships but all were in vain. It helped in away but not totally. It was only when I know about this awesome material from a group of people from various countries, then I started realizing the so called secret to intrigue a woman. But first I need to change myself. Not fully but the important parts. I needed to look good. You think I'm shallow? Well let me tell you when I meant that.

1)I changed the way I spoke. I started to learn to speak confidently. Confidence brings out a person's personality.

2)I wanted to lose weight and so I did. Fortunately I had the national service to help me. When I went in I was 78kg and after the service I was 66kg. For guys who wanna lose weight and the NS is not there, join a gym.

3)I changed the way I dress. I use to dress rather sloppily. Choose colours which suits your skin colour and try to have your own style.

4)Lastly, I shaved my head bald after my doctor's advice for a million times. "Do you have a gf?" "No, I don't." I said "Then shave your head. You will look better." I thought I was never gonna forgive myself but after doing it but I was surprised. What took me so long? I looked much better. I had transformed from 4 to 6.5 on the attractiveness scale. If anyone asks me why I shaved skin I just claim "I use to have it long down my ass but because it was covering my best asset, I shave it" and then give a cheeky smile.

These are what I mean by looking good. These are just some basic aspects but they are not exactly required to get a women. By doing this, a dude may get confident on himself. Don't just do it for the females. Do it for yourself. Make yourself feel glad that you achieve something.
The morphing, yes I did receive results from women. I must admit I am not the type of guy where chicks go, "Woah! Check out the cutie!" because I am bald and Asian chicks mostly don't dig bald guys. (I only had a hot Caucasian girl calling me hot once when I cross the street.) I don't need to be a cutie but I know once I start talking to a girl, she will be intrigued. What I talk, is another thing. That is how Syler was formed.

The most important thing in attracting the girl is the way you speak. Trust me, it is. I am not going in detail but I may come up with another post talking about the mind of women. Getting to know women is not an easy art and I got to say I am not a pro at it. I am still a learner. There are better guys out there in the field who make me look like an underwear model but they end up getting phone numbers of three to four girls per night in a club. Amazing isn't it? How they do it? Haha..(No, it has nothing to do with cheating the girl nor am I asshole to do that)

I'm being frank here. Till today, when I walked up to talk to a girl I wanna know, I still have the fear in my heart but I do challenge myself. All the emotions are gonna fuck me up but it's how I deal with them. Like dealing a small rock in my shoe when I'm walking. I may come up with more post in this topic. Maybe more indept but let's see. Syler, will always be part of me and he seems to be more popular than I am. Yea, I'm impersonating my ownself. Bizarre eh?